Lay Me To Rest

“No doubt sparked by my gloriously inappropriate mother asking, “What would you do if I died?”, and having just painfully dreamt that she actually did, I’ve decided to leave this here, an open letter – in my mental sanctuary, so that at no point, ever, will there be any question as to what is to be done, or any things left unsaid.”

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Spit Poison, Strike

“What inside your mind fuels such rage? Why do you want to break bones? What about physically and poisonously expressing your seething rage by means of intimidating and scarring those littler than you makes you feel better? Is it about power? Does it make you feel stronger, or like more of a man? Do you enjoy the stinging of the slapping, punching and the kicking?”

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My Affair with FitFinder

“I met my first girlfriend through FitFinder.
Only thing is – I was FitFinder.
Many people knew this already. I’ve admitted it before.
Oh, the power.
I had 5500 followers and enough information about enough people to fill a pool with drama and do the butterfly up and down, revelling in the anguish, hate, spite and jealousy that sloshed up to my neck.
It was beautiful, magnificent chaos.”

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Penitence

“Harshly illuminated in the darkness, I huddle in a corner before his downward gaze. I feel his compassionless stare, even through the distance.
My cheeks glisten, raw and soaked in my sorrows. Their stinging does little to distract me from his inflicted pain.
Hugging my knees to my chest, surrounded by his weapons, I fight the urge to run to him.
He is my twisted salvation.”

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Typically Atypical

“Ever seen that e-card?
“That one friend who only hangs out with guys because she says it’s less drama.”
LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING, HOMBRE.
The streets are flooded with drama. Drama coats the walls, the ceiling and occasionally breaks through a window and dances, butt naked, in your face. Drama has little devil drama babies with sharp teeth and spiked tails, who run around the room singing songs about having 99 problems but a bitch not being one.”

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Rule #1 of Atheist Club

“I’m not gonna lie to you, I’m gonna lie.
I was the perfect child growing up.
Honesty is a virtue.
In my many phases, I attracted a fair amount of negative attention.
Actually, it was more like a year-long, annual monsoon.
First, I was an outspoken atheist.
Like most atheists at begin, I was arrogant, narcissistic and pompous.
YOU ARE ALL STUPID FOR BELIEVING IN GOD AND I AM SUPERIOR AND ENLIGHTENED”

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Lesbians, Butt Thorns and Fat Bastard

” I don’t plan what I wear. I throw stuff on and decide whether to change or not by trying to label myself as others would when they see me.
Everybody does it. Oh, there goes the punk. He’s followed by the geek. The goth is close behind, and there comes the overly-dressed drama queen. The last guy fell behind because it’s noticeably harder to walk when you have that much swag.
I stood before the mirror, having changed out of ‘the emo kid’ outfit, and tried to stereotype myself. I frowned for a second, and then it came to me.
LESBIAN!
I was good to go.”

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